Today's Monday. First day working from home. Doing the 4pm to 12am shift. I feel a very mild anxiety running in the background. Jamie and I haven't left the house since Saturday.
It's funny because most weekends if we don't have any plans, we do stay home all weekend. But when you are obligated to stay home, it feels different.
California is third of the states with the highest amount of coronavirus cases. In California, Santa Clara county has the highest amount of cases. Right now 138 cases, 4 deaths. San Mateo has the fourth highest with 41 cases and 1 death. Contra Costa County is 6th, 34 cases, 0 deaths.
I went to Target last... Thursday? Toilet paper was completely out. And I heard so was alcohol. I bought what I could. Was really conscious of not taking too much. The mood there was generally very normal and calm. Was also very conscious of acting normally. Panic is also contagious. We also ordered a few things on Amazon.
Today the bay area decided to "shelter in place," starting tomorrow, which is basically a step before a total lockdown. Smart. I think it means nothing is absolutely enforced, but strongly, strongly encouraged. To stay home and practice social distancing.
I'm worried most about my parents. I've been calling my mom to check on her, make sure she's staying home. She went to church Sunday morning because she was a lector. She said they don't do wine anymore, but still do bread, just not on tongues. But that still involves hands touching something you put in your mouth. And my dad was going to go to work. I hope he doesn't now. But he works at the post office, I don't know what they do differently there.
In general we are fine here. No symptoms at all, just isolating and staying home. We did order doordash for lunch. Banh mi sandwiches. They were delicious. We also ordered some food through Amazon Whole Foods, which is supposed to deliver on Wednesday. I'm not sure if that will happen anymore. But we'll see.
Yesterday we completely redid Jamie's desk. A little while ago I sold all our Eames chairs, and got rid of the filing cabinet and table lamp. I'm so glad we cleared out the house some before all this happened. I also happened to get one 6 pack of toilet paper. I wonder if we'll run out.
3 years later...
Posted by
Tanya
on 1.14.2020
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Update:
- Now I'm working as a content manager for Apple, kind of.
- This was 2.5 years after being laid off from my previous full-time job.
- And 1.5 years after doing a 3 month coding bootcamp.
I'm feeling real lucky and blessed. Not too long ago I was feeling stuck in my previous job. And I made some risky moves, but ultimately got me here. I feel like I did a tiny level up. I'm also so happy that people are friendly and social at work. Towards the end of my last job, everyone was either super cliquey or super anti-social. And I guess it was fine that I wasn't the only one. But it's nice that there's always someone to have lunch with.
Anyway. Living in San Mateo now. Just got a haircut last Saturday. Someone accidentally took my jacket with my car keys in them. Things happened.
What I'm currently into/doing:
- Sugar ban! Except I had two small Japanese whiskey chocolates yesterday. Oops.
- I don't know really. Mostly I feel too lazy and tired, and just lay on the couch watching Netflix and playing on my phone. I need to get into my hobbies!
- Feeling anxiety about project offerings that I'm not really interested in. Sorry! Eek. And anxiety about meeting people about them. That part of me will never change, looks like.
- Although! Trying to get into jumping rope again. Did it Sunday and yesterday. Sunday: 400 jumps. Monday: 450 jumps! But giving myself a break today. I'm scarily out of shape but I think a bit of progress is good.
- Oh wait. SUPER into reddit right now at work.
- And the My Favorite Murder podcast!
Other things:
- Need to get rid of a lot of things:
- Lamp
- Filing cabinet
- Toaster oven
- Crock pot
- Jamie's laptop
- Jamie's desktop
Social activities:
- Last Saturday Jamie and I finally got flu shots and met Mark and Jenny's baby, Eva Jhene. Also Tatsu, Mas and Jenny were there too, and we all had lunch and watched the niners game. (That they won).
- The Sunday before that we met up with Jen and Andre for her birthday at a michelin star soba place. Tsuta? It was pretty good, except for the meat.
Nightmare Journal
Posted by
Tanya
on 1.23.2017
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I dreamt I was with a friend in a combination of a big Goodwill store and an old kinda Victorian house. We were browsing things, and a little girl and her Mom were a little farther way.
We were going up and down these aisles of large shelves filled with little used toys and trinkets, and the little girl was doing the same thing behind us. My friend was sort of this blurry presence around that slowly faded away, and then it was just me going up and down these aisles.
The little girl would find some little toy and leave it for me, and then I would do the same for her. This happened a few times, and then I had trouble finding something that I liked enough to show her. Finally I found something and left it out for her, but she never left something for me again.
I got worried and felt bad that I took so long to find something, and then I found her mother. She was upset at me, asking me why did I leave these toys, and I think the little girl was now dead. Then I find an old toy that she had once left for me, and when I touch it I'm transported back in time at the little girl and her mother's house. The toys that I left to show her appear in the house, and the mother would get freaked out and take them away, only for them to show up again, held in the little girl's arms. She would tell the daughter that the toys are bad. And then she would see me (in the past) and tell her to leave her daughter alone, that she got a puppy to protect the daughter.
So I guess I was a ghost that was haunting this little girl and she liked me but I was also somehow involved in her death.
We were going up and down these aisles of large shelves filled with little used toys and trinkets, and the little girl was doing the same thing behind us. My friend was sort of this blurry presence around that slowly faded away, and then it was just me going up and down these aisles.
The little girl would find some little toy and leave it for me, and then I would do the same for her. This happened a few times, and then I had trouble finding something that I liked enough to show her. Finally I found something and left it out for her, but she never left something for me again.
I got worried and felt bad that I took so long to find something, and then I found her mother. She was upset at me, asking me why did I leave these toys, and I think the little girl was now dead. Then I find an old toy that she had once left for me, and when I touch it I'm transported back in time at the little girl and her mother's house. The toys that I left to show her appear in the house, and the mother would get freaked out and take them away, only for them to show up again, held in the little girl's arms. She would tell the daughter that the toys are bad. And then she would see me (in the past) and tell her to leave her daughter alone, that she got a puppy to protect the daughter.
So I guess I was a ghost that was haunting this little girl and she liked me but I was also somehow involved in her death.
Posted by
Tanya
on 10.11.2016
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This weekend Jamie and I trimmed Lee's nails for the first time ourselves. It was extremely nerve-wracking for all of us but I'm SO proud we did it that I relive it over and over again lol. I'm going to leave him alone for the next week and pamper him like fuck!
Posted by
Tanya
on 9.06.2016
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Parts of a letter that Edgar Allen Poe wrote to James Russell Lowell in 1844. I found it so moving.
Man is now only more active — not more happy — nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago. The result will never vary — and to suppose that it will, is to suppose that the foregone man has lived in vain — that the foregone time is but the rudiment of the future — that the myriads who have perished have not been upon equal footing with ourselves — nor are we with our posterity.
Things I'll do when I get these braces off
Posted by
Tanya
on 5.22.2016
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- Eat finger foods in public with no anxiety
- Drink all the tea
- And all the coffee
- Wear lipstick
- Floss my teeth in 5 minutes instead of 15
- Eat ramen without gagging on noodles
- Kiss without fear of injuring my victim
- Drink all the tea
- And all the coffee
- Wear lipstick
- Floss my teeth in 5 minutes instead of 15
- Eat ramen without gagging on noodles
- Kiss without fear of injuring my victim
Blackbirds
Posted by
Tanya
on 3.14.2016
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A few months ago I was super into jumping rope as a fitness activity. I would walk over to the middle school nearby and exercise on their playground. This one day I was jumping rope under the trees and there were ALL these blackbirds (crows? I don't know) in the trees that would not stop squawking. Clearly I was bothering them, so I moved to be underneath some other trees and some of the birds would fly over to them instead. Trolls! So, I left. Fuckin' birds.